Everyday I see cars on the road that make me think, “out of all the cars in the world, why would you choose that one?” Sometimes I think that because the vehicle is absolutely, dreadfully boring, but a lot of times it’s because the car is just downright ugly. We all know about the Pontiac Aztek and how it is considered one of the ugliest creations of all time, but what other cars could claim a shot at the title? Here’s my list in no particular order, you might not agree, but since I’m writing this my opinion is the only one that counts!
Oh yes, the Hummer H2, the most ridiculous, pointless car of modern times. It represents everything that is wrong with the wasteful, bling bling era of the late 90s and early 00s. Everytime I see one on the road I get this uncontrollable urge to punch whoever is driving it, right in the face. If you want to show just how much you think about yourself and don’t give one single F*ck about anyone else, this is the car for you. Everytime someone starts their Hummer H2 another endangered species dies.citation needed
Ford has been making some really good looking vehicles recently. Lucky for them, because if they still made cars that looked like this, we would need about 12 more government bailouts to save them from utter collapse. What exactly were they thinking when they designed this? It is miserable and how they sold even one of these is beyond me. It does seem that horrible taste goes hand in hand with horrible driving. Extra points to anyone who can spot one of these things that hasn’t been completely collapsed in the rear end.
“Hey! I have a great idea! What if we take the front end of a Honda Accord and weld on the back of Honda Odyssey? Wouldn’t that be great? It’ll be a whole new era of vehicles! Yah and we can call it a Crosstour. How cool will that be?” No, nope, not in a million years, fail. Boy were they wrong, this car is just repulsive in every single way. Luckily Honda has decided to spare us and put this thing out of it’s misery, thank god!
Speaking of ‘great’ ideas, whoever thought making a convertible small SUV was a good idea should’ve probably been nominated for a Darwin award. Apparently throwing the word “cross” in the name of something will automatically make it cool in the minds of automakers. Not only is the shape of this thing hideous, but the color combinations are just ridiculous. If you have one of these, you might as well throw a set of 26″ rims on it and just give into the idiocy (Google it, it’s a thing, I promise).
Subaru has made some GREAT looking cars over the years. However their first foray into the world of minivans (or crossover, who knows what this thing is) was not their best work. Albeit that the look is pretty unique, but unique isn’t always a good thing. The first time I saw one of these contraptions I threw up a little bit in the back of my throat. How could a car company with such great designs make this ugly beast? The world will never know.